I saw the title of this article on LinkedIn this week, and just had to read it: The Lie of Balance & Having It All. Obviously we talk quite a bit about balanced living here - it's even in our tag line! So I was interested in what the author had to say. (Feel free to check it out - it's a quick read.)  While I don't disagree at all with her 3 main points (make honorable choices, surround yourself with good people, and seek strong community), I fail to see where this precludes living with balance. But maybe it is her understanding of balance that is throwing me off....

Firstly, I don't see balance as at all the same thing as "having it all." Living with balance for some people - including myself - often means simplifying - having less, not more. The more you accumulate and add to your life, the harder it is to maintain balance - at least in my view.

Secondly, I admit that I don't have children (yet), and from what I've heard, life becomes infinitely more chaotic once that happens. However, I do have a busy full-time job, two online businesses (including 5 blogs), a new husband, and am in the process of buying a home, as well as fixing up my husband's home to sell. Life is a complete whirlwind! 

I also freely admit that despite my best efforts, I don't always live a balanced life! However, seeking that is a value that guides me, and I am able to achieve it to some degree more often than not. So before you give up on balance altogether, consider these 3 points:

Welcome back! This week we're covering the other gender with what women really want and need in relationships. If you missed last week's post on what men really want, be sure to check that one out too! While our needs are somewhat similar, and everyone does need all of these to some extent, our top relationship needs are a bit different between the sexes.

And men, while you may wonder if you should really take the time to read this article, remember that a happy woman who is getting her needs met is one who is happy to meet your needs as well, including that one need that every man thinks about often, even if he may not say it to his partner - the need for more s-e-x.   :-)

So without further ado, let's get right to the juicy details! As I did last week, with each crucial relationship need, I've also posted a tip on how to meet this need for your woman, so you can put it into practice right away and watch your relationship improve.

Relationship Need #1: Caring

This pretty much goes without saying if you're a woman, but we really need to know that our man cares for us! And we don't just need to hear it, we need to feel this on a deep level. Some men have trouble expressing how much they care for their partner, and obviously since this is need #1, this can cause great problems in a relationship. To complicate matters further, each woman has her own definition of what makes her feel that you love and care for her. It's no wonder we sometimes drive you guys crazy!

Caring Tip: It really can make you crazy trying to figure out the ways to best show your woman that you care - especially if this is something that doesn't really come natural to you. For this particular need, I would suggest checking out the book "The 5 Love Languages", by Gary Chapman. It's a short read, and gives you a simple way to determine how your partner likes to be communicated with.  For example: my primary language is physical touch. If yours is something completely different - say, acts of service - it doesn't matter how many nice things you do for me - if you don't touch me often, I'm still not going to feel loved, even though you are doing all these things to show me that you love me.  (Luckily, even though it's not his primary language, my fiance knows it's mine, and he is really great at communicating with me in that way.)  :-)  It's a great book to help any couple learn to communicate better and make each other happier.

Relationship Need #2: Empathy

This week I read an excellent article by Deepak Chopra - one of my favorite revolutionary thinkers on health and spiritual well-being. In it, he dug a little deeper into a topic we often talk about here - finding a balanced state of health.

He described the four major models of health and the human body that we humans have subscribed to over the course of our existence, starting from viewing the body as a collection of elements from nature, through the Christian view of the body as merely the temple of the soul, Eastern views of the body as expression of life force, up until today's current model of the body as a machine.

The way we approach health and healthcare depends on which model we are currently using. For example, if you view the body as a machine, then solving a health problem is as simple as "fixing the part" - which is how our current medical system deals with illness and disease (and we're seeing the results of this piecemeal approach in our declining health as a nation - not to mention our skyrocketing healthcare costs).

However, as we are coming to find today, as we start to recognize more and more the connections within and between ourselves and the universe, all of these previous models are in some way incomplete. For example, as Dr. Chopra points out, it's obvious that your body is not just a machine! For one thing, it can heal itself - which no machine can do. It is self-regulating and self-organizing, with no outside inputs. It is self-renewing - which also means that, as Chopra notes: "Exercise makes it stronger, whereas a machine, if used more often, begins to wear out."

We are learning that, indeed, it is time for a new model - of the body, and of our health as a whole. Dr. Chopra calls this the "systems model" - in that "every cell is intelligent. The body holds together through a constant stream of information that reaches every cell. Homeostasis - a state of dynamic balance - represents health." This model recognizes the reality that "your body is a process -  not a thing."

One of the biggest shifts in building this new way of thinking about our health will be recognizing the powerful part that our brains and minds play in our physical health. Or, as Chopra puts it simply in systems terminology, "Positive input promotes well-being; negative input impairs well-being."  Obviously this is logical even in the machine model, BUT input will no longer just mean physical input like food, exercise, sleep, etc., but also include positive and negative ways of thinking.

This will mean an entirely new approach to healthcare - one that comes from YOU - not your doctor - as I've been saying for years! In the systems model, "self-care becomes primary care." Chronic disease and disorders of the bodily system are then preventable through routine maintenance of the whole, your beliefs and attitudes towards your body take on as much importance as physical inputs, and mindfulness practices such as prayer and meditation have a recognized impact on the health of your system.

As you can see, this is a pretty major shift in approach towards our health - but it's one that's long overdue. I hope that, as Dr. Chopra seems to believe, this model is well on the way to becoming a reality in the way we treat our bodies and care for our health.

Lastly, Chopra makes one more major point in relation to listening to your body - as I just talked about a couple of weeks ago: http://www.newholisticliving.com/1/post/2014/02/your-body-is-smarter-than-you-think.html 

And lest you think that this shift will require unrealistically drastic changes in the way you live, Dr. Chopra puts it in very simple terms which should make sense to just about anyone: "In short, we need to let the body take care of us, for that is what it's actually doing. The one thing this amazingly self-sufficient system needs from you is better input."

This "better input" can come in many forms, but in general, most are summed up by habitually listening to your body's feedback, loving and caring for yourself and others - as well as the world around you, and developing your spiritual awareness.

For more tips on giving your body better input, read Dr. Chopra's full article here.

And be sure to stay tuned to this blog, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and connect with us regularly - this entire blog and website is designed to support this new "systems model" - which is what holistic living truly is all about!

Many of us don't necessarily think of our bodies as intelligent beings. After all, our dominant conscious mind is a function of the brain, not the body, right? But there are literally thousands of impulses moving throughout our bodies, to our brains, and back, every second that we're alive. And some of those impulses actually are conscious, and even more of them have the potential to be - if we just listen....

Eastern mystics and yogis for centuries have learned to consciously regulate things as "automatic" as their heartbeat, and meditation is a way of consciously altering brain function. So why do so many of us treat our bodies as inanimate objects - sacks of blood and bones, incapable of doing anything other than responding to stimuli unless told to do so by our almighty brains? If you stop and listen to your body once in a while, you might be surprised at what you might learn.

Obviously you know that your body can tell you things like when it's hungry, thirsty, or needs to sleep. But did you know it can also tell you what food is good and bad for it? How to relieve pain? What kind of exercise it needs? Actually it tells you these things all the time. We just don't notice, as most of us aren't trained to listen.

Obviously we write a lot about health on this blog - and in particular healthy eating, real nutrition, and the connections between your health and the food you eat - since that is my main passion. But we also want to know what you want to read about, so we can provide information on the topics you're seeking to learn about!

But you probably have one or two topics you just really want to know more about. We'd love to hear what those are!

And if you have a specific reason for looking for information on your preferred topic, we want to hear about that too - what is your story?  What brings you to seek more information on healthy and holistic living?

Please drop us an email, or fill out the contact form below, or comment on our Facebook page, and let us know what you want to know more about. Although we cannot provide medical advice, we would be happy to share general information on how you can be healthier in whatever aspect of your life you need the most help in.

I look forward to hearing from you - and keep an eye out for more posts on the topics you requested coming soon!

I was going to write about something else this week, but was caught by this passage I heard in church this morning, and was so enthralled by it, I thought this would be the proper season to share it with everyone. If you're reading this blog, I'm willing to bet it will also resonate with you, whether you are a Christian or not.

This phrase actually sums up everything that most of us are ever looking for. It is the reason we do everything from rising in the morning, to going to work, to building relationships, caring for our families, shopping, eating, taking vacations, giving to others, and all the myriad other things we do to feel fulfilled. Yet so very many of these things fall short in giving us the one thing we really want....